Thursday, January 23, 2003

I had been here before in the summer but now the tide is very high covering the spaces I had walked. I swim in the warm water and darkness past shapes of rocks. I realize I can no longer see my sister and start calling out to her. Her name over and over but not in panic just calling. When I reach the edge (is this place modeled on Coney Island and I've reached Brighton?) and turn back there are other swimmers and it's brighter. These people have mistaken my calls as a response to a drowning. I pass them. There is a ridge of rocks in the middle of the space. Sometimes I swim close almost up on this ridge. The water is so brown. So pleasant to swim in. Phil swims past. I ignore him but feel disconcerted and concerned about the consistency of my thighs as I reach the shallows and stand. Inside I perform a jump-step-up exercise along a low ledge that runs across the room. Later when I desire to swim again I go into the indoor pool room that leads to the water outside and find a balcony of people watching a "drop dead dancing" contest and can't pass through. A group is just finishing up. They wear red flowy costumes edged in white and with a final twist and jump land to applause.

Monday, January 06, 2003

I was telling strangers about my new teeth. I'd had all removed and replaced by a rigid rubber set. In my mouth they felt like they were black rubber; tire rubber, but in the mirror I found them to be white and completely recognizable as teeth. They had been suggested for my night grinding. Actually the plan wasn't for the grinding to stop, I was apparently considered incapable of reform, but for my teeth to withstand. Later I started showing off my new nose. It had also been removed and replaced with a rubber model. While I was thrilled with both alterations, I was more sensitive about the nose. If people didn't like the idea (...and the subject only came up when I brought it up since the prosthesis was unrecognizable as such) or expressed bewilderment as to my reasoning for having the nose replaced, I grew agitated. I do not remember the reason for removing my nose.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

phil has been watering plants. I think he's been doing it several nights worth of dreams and only now has this action seemed strange to me. I have realized he has bought more plants; the space where I had kept plants is now full. But he never seemed to care about plants. odd. Why now? Then I'm watering them. Mainly to verify that there are really more.